this sense of longiness is scaring the shite out of me.

i mean it's like, i do nothing, nothing but wait. ya know. wait, wait, wait. that's all i do now a days. it's like, waiting for your message, your call, your email and such. and, it's like you're so far away. and, i'm addicted. and, it's bad. how the hell can i possible get addicted to you once again? wth. i keep on thinking bout you 24/7. midterms are drawing closer and closer as each day flies by. i know i shouldn't, but, i am; i am. hopeless, i think. seriously. how can i forget you? i wanna know. please fill me in. you must have done something right; for me to actually feel for you again, after such a long time, ya know. and, of course, me not actually wanting to end it did add to the fact that i was never completely over. it sucks, it seriously does. plus, you seem to get over it so fast; then, now, you come back at tell me those stuff. how do you expect me to forget? those feelings that i tried to lock away, flooded back into my mind like water rushing out of a broken dam. a dam of emotions. don't play with me ya know. i don't like it. and, somehow or someway, you have the upperhand, not me. and, i'm so not used to it. you make me feel used ya know. now more than ever. but, i will be a good friend, that i promised to be, and stay by your side, always. but, nothing further. not now at least.

you know what, i'm gonna try to erase you; erase you, to not think about you. not now. this year is too much of an important year to screw up, just because of that one person. ya know. so, i'm gonna try to break off all ties with you. off my hp and such. and, it's like, of all years, it's this year. and this year, i keep on screwing up. it's like wth. i can't seem to study, or actually pay attention in class for that matter. i seriously do need help.

anyways, today was so crappy. well, after school went to parkway to have lunch with the guys. well, i do have to say that the cesar salad at coffee bean is nice. but, it's like such a huge portion!! i was so bloated. then, irritatingly, qx took my hp to play with that dumbass who was trying to prank on me. lame. anw, went home, i couldn't be bothered anymore after i got back my ipod and hp. they guys are so lame; but ya know, somewhat fun to be with, with crapyness and all. haha.

anyways, i'm going to try to study, once again. so yeah. laters ya'll.

loves,

manda.